Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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