Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
