you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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