we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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