I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
