Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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