last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
