I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
