Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
