i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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