she was so not down for the gang bang
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
