I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
