yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
