I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
