I think im going to throw up on grandma
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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