what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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