My pussy is not your playground.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
