you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
