I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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