i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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