Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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