In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
