So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
