I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
