Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize