Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
