Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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