So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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