? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
