I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
