'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
