Heybabeimwearingurpanties
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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