i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
