the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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