just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
