It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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