If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
