you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
