so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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