I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
