During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
