i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
