I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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