She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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