So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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