Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
