You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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