Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You dont lie about slip and slides
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
