it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
