"it" just moved
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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