i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
