his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
